The worse you look, the less amazed they will be.

and ensure you avoid a 2nd.

If you’re reading this I am going to assume it’s because of one of a few things, either you have got yourself a date with someone, you don’t truly relish spending time with ter a romantic capacity, yet you have somehow managed to find yourself awaiting a date with them and for one reason or another can’t get yourself out of it.

Maybe you said yes on a caprice and what seemed like a good idea at the time no longer feels like a very good project at all. Or you’ve recently bot suggested a more appealing suggest and you want your very first date to be the final date.

Another option however may just be that you actually want your very first date to go well and your aim is to be aware of anything that may occur and you want to avoid scuppering your chances of a very first date becoming a 2nd.

Lastly it may just be that you are looking for something entertaining, irreverent and joy to read.

The aim of this hub is to provide a bit of all of the above. Whether you have a looming cloud of fear hovering overheen you, just waiting to rain misery overheen what precious free time you have and are not looking forward to it te the slightest. Or your waiting ter anticipation, to dip your toes ter the pool of potential heartbreak merienda again and hope against hope you don’t mess it up.

If you genuinely want to tegenwerking the very first date, go after the ten points listed below to the letterteken however if you do actually want your date to go well, the opposite applies. For the surplus of you, I hope you can find some some humour contained within this article.

Arrive late.

Don’t explain or apologise, if confronted about your lack of punctuality, instantly dismiss the punt or just say “and?” like a tiener with an attitude problem. Making it look like you think that their the one with the problem.

By arriving late you also give out a clear message very early on, that their not worth your time and that you think that your time is more significant then theirs.

Pay no attention to your appearance.

Don’t shower, trim, clean you’re teeth or use any scented products of any zuigeling. Wear you’re oldest or least flattering, preferably unclean clothes. The worse you look, the less amazed they will be.

This will give the impression that your date is not worth the effort and if you look and smell like that on a date, when you are supposed to be at your best, they will be imagining all kinds of unsavoury thoughts about what your private hygiene is like when you’re at your worst.

Don’t insist on picking up the tabulator.

Don’t even suggest to pay half and if anything is said very reluctantly, vocally and badly work out exactly your half and pay only that. Don’t even think about leaving a peak.

This will give off the impression that generosity is not exactly one of your strong points, your out for a free rail and the world owes you a favour. Letting your unfortunate date know that your all take and no give.

Abandon your manners.

That means no telling please, thank-you or sorry. That does mean swearing, interrupting, scraping or playing inappropriately with your intimate part’s. You can be spil noisy spil you dare, spil zelfingenomen and self indulgent spil you like, you can also pick your nose or ears and eat what you find, just for reserve gross cifra.

Treat the staff at the establishment your ter, like they are your own private servants, click your fingers at them, shout overheen to them requiring service instantaneously and boss your date around a bit too.

If you still don’t feel you’ve done enough, burp loudly without covering your mouth and unashamedly pass wind like it’s going out of style.

Talk absolute rubbish.

Make talk all about you and interrupt every time they embark to discuss anything other then you. Talk about your ex, or how you don’t have a social life or friends because of your infatuation with your games console, porn, stamp collecting or cars and make it sound like the most boring thing to do ter the world. Also how it’s something you do alone and that’s what makes it so significant to you.

Alternatively don’t say anything at all, just give an occasional grunt and don’t even look like your listening to anything their telling or indeed find it remotely interesting.

Visit the bathroom or go outside, a lotsbestemming!

Take frequent trips away and don’t explain or justify them. Toeslag points if you can do it while their te the middle of a sentence.

If questioned about your little adventures away, even if they politely ask “is everything OK.?”В get all defensive, then ask them if they are always this nosey and tell them te no uncertain terms that it’s none of their business.

Get your phone out.

Whether it be an i phone or a blackberry, spend most of your time texting or phoning other people and generally providing it your undivided attention, your date for the evening will soon take the hint.

Don’t voorstelling them what you’re doing or who you are texting and again if questioned, just say something along the lines of “who are you my mother?” or “What do you want a report?”

Tut, breathe and squeal.

About everything and anything. Complain like it wasgoed an Olympic event and your going for gold. The bad service and staff, regardless of weather it’s true or not. The weather, your day and anything else that comes to mind. Schrikachtig on about just how unfulfilled and depressing you and your life is. Tut regularly to the point it becomes unbearable and breathe exaggeratedly just to annoy them further.

Throw te a few comments about just how little your loving the date too, just for good measure.

Have a wondering eye.

Look around permanently, wink at other people if you dare, you can even do a bit of flirting ter gevelbreedte of your date, just ter case they still think you maybe interested te them.

Avoid looking at your date to the best of your capability, especially any eye voeling.

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