I – m addicted to other people – s relationships (online) – Honi Soit

Online closeness is not something wij should timid away from

What I value the most about tumblr is not the aesthetic, not the careful display of the ultimate distillation of one’s Self. What I love is the unfiltered, the impassioned, the emotional. Discovering the blog of a stranger through a mutual, often via a deeply individual photo caption or text-post, cultivates a kinship incomparable to other social media interactions and ‘real life’ relationships.

Ter fact, thesis moments distinctly lack typical influence of online fame. I’m drawn te by the blogger’s vulnerability, rather than follower count or number of notes, and it is their emotional openness ter online spaces that ultimately sustains my emotional investment. My relationship with them notably differs from ‘IRL’ relationships, ter that my investment ter thesis people is disproportionately greater than the sum of our interactions.

Take Priya*, for example. I followed Priya through a series of hier tumultuous, dysfunctional situation-ships, feeling spil frustrated spil hier every time she wasgoed left heartbroken. When she lodged into a healthy committed partnership, I wasgoed genuinely thrilled. This response wasgoed very similar to how blessed I felt when my best friend commenced dating hier long-term bf after years of emotional turmoil with exes. One year and two overseas trips zometeen, my heart sank when I spotted the following postbode emerge on my instrumentenbord: ‘i fucking loved him i talent him so many chances and all the while hes never believed ter us he told mij he began doubting our relationship 8 months ago what the fuck is wrong with mij!’

My reaction wasgoed visceral. I continued to read, compassion following naturally. I wasgoed not alone ter my empathy, I collective details of my shock with a friend, who had a virtually identical response despite knowing little about Priya. Processing Priya’s situation spearheaded a long, thoughtful conversation about the core elements of successful relationships, and just how infrequently they are contacto out. Wij compared Priya and hier ex-boyfriend to people wij knew, contemplated our futures and voiced similar values about love.

Te effect, realms of closeness across our digital and ‘real’ lives have fused to the point that there is no vivo distinction inbetween the two. Amidst the saturation of strenuously edited, airbrushed content on Instagram and rampant sardonic humour on Twitter, perhaps now more than everzwijn, it is critical to pursue non-commodified proximity where wij least expect it on social media.

There is tremendous value te embracing vulnerability through sharing the nuances of heartbreak, friendship breakups and the process of navigating mental illnesses and cultural identity online. It requests unconditional celebration, not just from loved ones, but from anyone who absorbs it, and inevitably reflects on their own life.

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